


A cake offering

by horrorriz



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mild Angst, Post canon, Tooth Rotting Fluff, minor Ecco/Ivy, some other batman media elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 13:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/horrorriz/pseuds/horrorriz
Summary: The night Ed means to propose to Oswald, everything that could possibly go awry, does.





	A cake offering

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the replies of [this tweet](https://twitter.com/zellaphone/status/1154393104243445761)
> 
> Also happy birthday to the Penguin! (on the time of posting)

Funfetti? Out of all the cakes that were Oswald’s favorite, why did it have to be this one?  
Ed muttered while he carefully applied the glazing, making pretty swirls in attempt to have it look moderately less childish.  
  
Oswald explained after receiving a puzzled look from Ed, that he used to beg his mother for this specific box cake mix whenever they went grocery shopping. The cake had looked bright and delicious on the packaging, seemingly dreamlike for a poor child like Oswald. Everytime his mother had said no, warning him what too much sugar might do to his teeth. That they could not afford dental care.  
Oswald had sulked but ultimately accepted, his mother knew best after all.   
Then one day when he came home from school, nothing particular about it, just an ordinary day. She had surprised him with the box and asked him if he wanted to make it together.  
The cake might not have looked or tasted as good as the packaging was trying to sell, but it was made with so many happy memories that Oswald reminisced about the taste for decades.  
  
Ed couldn’t admit he understood the feeling, not even remotely. But ultimately the goal was to do whatever to make Oswald happy. If he wanted a cake with vanilla and sprinkles, that was what he would get.  
However, Ed had gone out of his way to make the recipe from scratch, using real vanilla and non artificial flavoured sprinkles. He figured Oswald might not remember the exact flavour of the cake anyhow, and feared the disappointment of using the box mix would ruin the elated feeling he was so desperately seeking.  
  
Surprising Oswald was hard, even for Ed. He had this uncanny ability of sensing the smallest detail, from a change to one’s mannerisms, to anything that felt mildly out of the ordinary.   
For this reason, Ed had planned this evening on a day he was certain he wouldn’t see Oswald until it was time for the big unveil.  
  
He figured it was the better way, convinced he would instantly blow his cover with the nervosity he already felt building inside.   
What if Oswald said no? As unlikely as it was, it was still a frightful idea. Making his chest heavy yet hollow, the fear of nothingness weighing more than any feather of affection, yet alone the full heart Oswald had already gifted Edward with.  
  
Ed tried to calm his thoughts with the memory of the day Oswald had casually mentioned marriage over breakfast. It had been out of the blue, like it was the most natural thing in the world to say while half reading the newspaper.  
Ed had been so startled he had fled the scene like a coward, flinging himself into the car, needing to quiet his rampant mind within the rush of the city.   
He sat down by a fountain in Robinson Park, watching couples giggle and hold hands. Some youngsters sharing an innocent, naive love, openly kissing and pressing themselves as close to one another as humanly possible.   
Couples that were satisfied with the gentle touch of each others hands, an occasional nudge into their lover’s shoulder in order to call for attention, sharing a mature and rich look stemming from many years of established, deep love.   
The variations were endless, and Ed had started to feel dizzy, not at all finding the calm or the answers he had gone looking for.   
  
Could Edward ever be one of those people? Was it even possible?   
When he had created his persona —his alter ego The Riddler, it had been with the intent of wanting more than the regular domestic life so many strived after. He had left that dream with the corpses of Kristen and Isabella.  
  
Still the image of sharing his life with Oswald did not sound awful, it was basically what they had been doing the last few years anyway. They lived in the same house, shared the same bed at night, saw each other the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night.  
  
Perhaps the idea was not so bad after all, perhaps even criminals like them could settle down. If it would ever be someone, it would be Oswald. He had been the only one who had been able to see both sides to Edward. The good, the bad, the ugly and the plain madness. They shared that common trait between them like a delicious threat, bathing in the insanity that others would shun or fear.  
Perhaps, they truly were made for each other.  
  
Ed had gone to order the ring and started to plot the night of their engagement the same day. Completely engulfed in the idea, fuzzy with the unknown and love fueling his inspiration.   
  
Now, the day had arrived. Despite weeks of going through the plan repeatedly, far more carefully than he ever had with his heists, he couldn’t sit still from the nerves, all jittery and bubbling, simultaneously uncomfortable and pleasant. In spite of it being a relatively small gesture, it was overwhelming.  
  
It was all very simple, he had told Oswald to be home for dinner at eight that evening, tempting him with the notion he wanted to make them something special. When Oswald had asked about the occasion, he had rushed to point out how every day they shared together was a gift, and he merely wanted to prepare a nicer meal for them to share.  
Oswald had blushed, given him a chaste kiss on his cheek before hurrying out to take on his day.  
  
Ed stood back to admire his masterpiece. For being a children’s dessert, it looked quite exceptional if he could say so himself. His excessive research into the culinary arts had proven to pay off again and again, although it was not a very well hidden secret that the way to the Penguin’s heart was through his stomach. Only when he trusted the person treating him that is.  
  
He just had to make sure his gluttony didn’t get the best of him and ingest the cake in too hurriedly. The point of it all was, after all, the ring hidden inside.  
With all the old dramas Oswald liked to watch during late evenings, he figured he would appreciate a classic.  
  
Now he had plenty of time to prepare dinner. After many back and forth considerations, test cooking and tastings, he had decided on a simple yet rich aubergine lasagne. Served with a side salad and freshly baked bread.   
Oswald himself had agreed that perhaps it was in his health’s best interest to lessen his meat intake, so Ed was certain this would be appreciated.   
  
First the aubergine needed to be roasted in some olive oil, with mixed herbs and a sprinkle of rock salt. Better get started, these things always take longer than anticipated.  
  
To his despair, he found that he must have either misplaced or not bought any aubergine, how could he have forgotten his key ingredient? He had been so focused on getting the cake right, that he had neglected the details on his shopping list for the dinner entirely.  
  
No matter, he had plenty of time after all, right? Going into the city to fetch the missing ingredient would take no time at all. Ed was thankful he always planned with good measure.   
  
He did a quick run through the other items to make sure he had not forgotten anything else, as well as putting the cake safely inside a cake stand with its glass covering before taking his leave.

  
  


***

  
  


Getting the missing ingredients had taken less time than expected, and Ed was pleased at how time efficient he’d been when in need –although, when was he ever not brilliant?   
He was in the process of taking out the rest of the items he needed out of the fridge when he noticed something missing. He closed the fridge door, baffled, reopened it, hoping what was missing would magically reappear.  
The cake, where was the CAKE?  
  
“Who in the world steals a _cake_?” Ed asked the room, practically scoffing with frustration when he didn’t get a reply back.  
  
He investigated the kitchen further and found one of their more expensive wine bottles opened and a glass standing next to it, still half full. Such a waste.  
_Hold on…_ Ed picked up the glass and examined a vague lipstick print on it. This shade… The nerve of them, stealing from the Penguin’s home. Only one person could have done this.   
And he could be sure he would pay for messing up the most important scheme in the eternity of Riddler’s life.

  
  


***

  
  


Locating the Joker’s lair wasn’t so hard seeing as he did not care about keeping it discreet or well-hidden. Just follow the vintage circus memorabilia plastered outside and inside the building.  
  
He found Joker in the main machine room of the abandoned toy factory, stitching a cowl and cape onto a plush doll.   
Beside him stood the familiar cake stand and a comically large spoon, remnants of sprinkles still sticking to it.  
The only good thing about J was his penchant for blunt honesty, as annoying as it could be, at the moment it would serve useful.  
  
Ed took a step out of the darkness, well aware it did nothing to actually shield his presence. Jeremiah was already cognizant of the company, he simply did not care.  
  
"What. Did. You. Do. With. The. Ring. Jeremiah?"   
  
Ed continued forward, standing tall beside the other man who pretended he was not even there.  
The Joker hummed while he continued to fasten a tiny bat symbol onto the chest of the doll.  
  
“Answer the question.”  
  
Losing his patience, Ed slammed the table so Jeremiah lost the grip on his needle, only then did he look up. A wicked, broken grin meeting Ed’s dark, furious eyes.  
  
“Antsy are we? What got you so worked up this time, Riddle man?”  
  
“The ring that was inside that cake, where is it?” Ed snarled, clenching his jaw, digging his nails into his palms. Attempting to contain the anger boiling under the surface, ready to burst and snap J’s neck if he continued not to care about taking him even remotely serious for once.   
  
Jeremiah tapped his finger to his lips and tilted his head, fiddling with the plushie in his other hand.  
  
"Hm... Let me think. Shiny, white gold decorated with emerald and amethyst stones?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"Oh, that old thing. I gave it to Harley who I believe put it on the collar of one of her darlings..."  
  
“I— You what! I swear you are going to pay for these games one day. Your jokes are starting to go too far, J.”  
  
Ed was not referring to the extremely rude and disrespectful idea of stealing someone’s cake from their home and then putting the engagement ring inside as a decoration on a hyena. But, Ed was inferring that his schemes were not only putting more innocent people than necessary at danger, but risking the exposure of identities, stashes and hideouts for the rest of them in the process.  
Anything to challenge the bat, see what would make him break.   
As much as they all hated the caped crusader, Joker hated him so much it was a passionate love story at this point.   
  
“Is this you declaring war, Riddler?”  
  
Any normal person would have lost the smile at such a serious declaration, the air in the room growing so heavy it felt like liquid to move through. Two strong forces sparking with intensity, polar opposites ready to bounce off each other.   
The Joker was no normal man, and his grin merely grew so wide the corner of his mouth started to crack. Truly a splitting image of his deceased brother.   
  
“I am an offering of hope and disappointment alike, sometimes used when your mind simply goes blank. What am I?”  
  
“I guess this means we might we have a playdate waiting in the future.”  
  
Jeremiah chuckled. And as Ed started walking away, the volume of the laughter rose until it vibrated off the walls and creeped along one’s spine, echoing in your skull.

  
  


***

  
  


The Joker may be a little more than an occasional reluctant acquaintance during struggling times, Harley Quinn on the other hand —Or, Ecco as she was more well-known as in personal terms. She’d been a dear friend to Oswald and that meant Ed saw her frequently by proxy.  
There was only one place she would be at this hour, seeing as there were no new schemes planned, as far as he knew.  
  
It was a safe bet she’d be snuggled up in Poison Ivy’s garden house, on top of the Iceberg Lounge. A special, central location which had been a peace offering many years ago. Oswald had overlooked Ivy’s friendship once, too fed up with his need for revenge against Ed. Oswald deeply regretted the neglect and wanted to make amends. Lucky for him, Ivy could be a simple girl when it came to terrestrial objects.  
That all felt like lifetimes ago. Everything was so much different now. The villains had stopped fighting each other regularly (unless it was for mutual fun), and nowadays they all operated as a big family. The only ones that they could all mutually trust, or believe to begin to understand their equally troubled pasts and philosophies.   
  
Ed did not bother to knock, he’d likely seen it all anyway, as he’d walked in on the girls one time too many. He supposed they were fairly equal, given the amount of instances they had come blasting into his and Oswald’s bedroom in the middle of the night, babbling away about the newest herbal drink mixture they had cooked up. The only difference was they did not mind very much, while Oswald would loudly shriek and shoo them out of the room. They had tried to teach the girls some manners when it came to privacy, but they would just shrug every time, certainly listening, but definitely not caring.  
  
Ed was starting to miss Oswald. Although they were used to being away from each other at times when work called for it. Especially when Ed went into the zen of plotting an especially thrilling theft. But, with all these feelings of expectation building, he longed for nothing more than the arms of his lover in this moment.  
He just needed to get the ring back and present the promise to Oswald, a seal of their continued unity.  
  
“Ivy, Ecco? Are you in here?”   
  
Before he received any human answer, he heard the distinct loud barks of Ecco’s beloved pets. Two hyenas she had rescued from an illegal auction a few years back.   
Despite how Ed had never done anything to harm the animals, they had not taken a liking to him. Frankly, they did not particularly like anyone except the girls themselves.   
  
The growling was getting closer and Ed was beginning to get nervous, since he knew he did not do well with the hyenas on his own. They were obedient and kind, although a little bratty when Ecco was around, but without her? You better watch yourself so they don’t bite off a hand, or a head…  
  
“Ed?” Ecco called, dragging Ivy along with her, both clearly only half-dressed, hair disheveled and a bit wild. Well, that was hard to determine seeing as their hairstyles tended to be a little out of control on the daily.  
  
“What are you doing here? I thought I had heard Oswald talking about you two having a date tonight?”  
  
“Yes… About that... “ Ed looked down at the neck of one of the animals, happily panting as Ecco was petting him. The ring glistened as a charm attached to the collar.  
  
“A little expensive addition to the jewelry of your pets?”  
  
Ecco brightened.   
“Do you like it? I found it in the mush of leftover cake at Mister J’s earlier today, isn’t it pretty? Unfortunate someone would forget their ring inside a cake, but hey! More shiny things for me and my babies.”   
She further ruffled the pet’s fur and he licked her face in returned affection.  
“And you just love it Bud, don’t you? Yes you do!” The other hyena brushed into her side with its big head, looking for attention. “Yes baby, I will find something for you too Lou don’t worry!”  
  
Ed coughed and the whole pack, humans and animals alike looked up.  
  
“It happened to be my cake. I made it for Oswald. For tonight.”  
  
Ivy rolled her eyes and bent down to unfasten the ring from the hyena.  
  
“You need to be more careful where you place your belongings Eddie, maybe not in pastries.”  
  
Ed just sighed, too tired of this whole diversion already. All he had wanted was to prepare something nice for Oswald and now it was ruined. It was already late and there was no time to remake the cake, let alone attempt at dinner.   
  
He left the girls without much of a goodbye, hearing Ivy comforting Ecco about how they’d find something much nicer to give to her babies as a sparkly trinket.  
Ed couldn't care less, he felt defeated and discouraged.   
Weeks of planning for both of them to have a night off, gone, just like that.   
  
He put the ring safely back in its original box and headed home with a heavy heart. 

  
  


***

  
  


Edward’s hand lingered on the door handle for a moment before he pressed down, apprehension blossoming within, like poison in his veins. He had been so caught up in getting the ring back, that he had completely forgotten about the date itself, when he’d meant to present it. He had stood Oswald up and hadn’t even called to apologize.  
He did not have a proper excuse for it, not if he intended to give the proposal another, decent attempt. If he could gather the courage for a retake.  
  
He hadn’t once considered there wouldn’t be a chance for a new attempt.  
Because once found it within himself to enter their home, Oswald came rushing to the door. But it wasn’t relief in his eyes, just pure rage shielding the hurt brewing below.  
Ed knew that look, what it meant. Oswald believed that he had betrayed him, again. How he was coming home late at night, announcing the next in line of pretty librarians met over a shared riddle.   
Ed swallowed, this was not good.  
  
“Why?” Was all that Oswald could muster to say, too exhausted after hours of worrying. The stab in his heart from the sensation of history repeating itself. How could he have been so foolish to think he could have a chance at lasting love?  
  
“I called you so many times, I thought—” Oswald continued when Ed did not reply right away.  
  
“Ed I thought this was in the past, I thought we promised to never keep things from each other? What is happening? Where were you? How could you do this to me, how could you do this to me again?”  
Oswald wanted to sound angry but his voice faltered and he felt weak and pathetic.   
  
Ed could not shake the impression of being interrogated in his own home, scrutinized and scolded without any chance to explain himself.   
But more than anything he felt ashamed.   
  
“I can’t live like this, Ed. You disappearing, standing me up, having no idea where you are, or who you are with. Everytime we get serious, or bring up the discussion of the next step for us, you freak out and flee.  
I can’t spend my life with someone I constantly worry does not want to be here in the first place.”  
  
This... this was not what Ed had imagined at all, certainly nothing he had prepared for when he woke up that morning.  
This was supposed to be their day, one of those few good days that was so hard to come by with their lifestyles and line of work.   
He was going to propose! He was willing to spend his life with Oswald, and… Was this the end then? Had his plan to ask for the hand of the man he loved only resulted in losing him altogether? Trust gone and their love vaporized?  
  
Ed’s heart sank and it felt like everything was falling apart. The ground shook with the dizziness suddenly overtaking him. His vision blurred and everything went blank, a vast black nothingness. This was what awaited him. He was nothing without Oswald, he was the one thing holding him to this tiny piece on earth, preventing him from falling like he had before.   
Now without him, there was no one there to catch him anymore.  
  
The vertigo too great, Ed stumbles over and he falls, vision blackening until he loses complete consciousness.  
  
Oswald noticed it happening far too late, but still lunged forward to at least try and save Ed’s head from hitting the hard floor, well aware of the long list of head traumas Ed had suffered by the hands of others’ anger, his own included.  
  
Oswald fell hard on his knees and groaned from the pain, but he still protectively clung onto Ed’s limp body. He failed to fight back the tears that threatened to fall through the many doubts and disappointments of the day.   
Was this were they were going? This was the man he had dreamed of spending his life with, but it had started to become more and more clear that Ed was not interested in something as long-lasting as forever.  
Oswald let his grip of his beloved go a bit as he dried off tears with his sleeve, and the soft thud of an object hitting the hardwood floors next to them, startled him.  
He looked around in search of the item in question, and his heart skipped a beat when he spotted a purple velvet box with accents of green glitter. Surely this couldn’t be…?  
He could hear his pulse in his ears, heightened and deafening. Slowly he reached for the box, and delicately touched its smooth surface.  
  
Ed would never… He had repeatedly shown how afraid he was to settle down. Oswald had tested the water with the concept of marriage one morning over breakfast and Ed had nearly dumped his coffee onto himself, excusing himself and leaving shortly after. He had not seen him for the rest of that day.  
  
Oswald opened the box and choked back a sob, edges of his mouth cracking into a smile.  
He must have looked mad with the conflict of emotions painted on his face.  
Overwhelmed and far too curious, Oswald gingerly took out the ring to slip it onto his finger. It fit perfectly, of course it did, this was Ed’s doing after all. He did not do anything half done, so what had the theatrics been today?  
That was a conversation for another day, right now he could only attempt to process the fact that Ed had planned to propose to him.   
  
“What’s the occasion for such a rare smile?”  
  
Oswald hurried to dry his tears although he feared Ed had already spotted them.  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“You’re smiling with your entire being, Oswald. Eyes wrinkled and soft, lips about to burst and you’re practically glowing.  
Also, were those tears of happiness I caught a glimpse of?”  
  
Oswald felt exposed, raw and floating somehow. He could feel more tears coming on, so before he could embarrass himself further, he tightened his grip around Ed and pressed their lips together.  
Ed fell back slightly at the contact and chuckled between the kisses as he wrapped his arms around Oswald.  
  
What had happened while he was out? One minute it sounded like Oswald had lost all hope in him, about to leave. The next— Ed had a devastating realization as he felt his hands being emptied and abruptly pulled back.  
  
“Oswald I—”  
  
Suspecting the rest of the broken off sentence, Oswald holds up his left hand as a visual reply to Ed.  
  
“Yes!” He called out, breathless and exuberant with absolute pure energy Ed had bestowed upon him. It was hard not to, when all of his dreams were coming true. How could he have ever doubted Ed? After all they had been through, it was as easy as slitting the throat of an imbecile to utter the next, well awaited words.   
“Yes Edward, I will marry you.”  
  
“Oh thank goodness.”  
  
An excessively loud cough broke the tension and they both turned their heads to find Ecco peeking in from the hallway.   
  
“Am I interrupting something? I just thought I’d return this one slice of cake that J didn’t eat, as an apology for taking the ring and all.”  
  
Ecco headed over to put the plate down beside them, without any regard as to why they were situated on the floor. She stops for a moment and her eyes widen in pure, theatrical disbelief.  
  
“O.M.G. is that THE ring? Ed! You should have just told me that you were going to propose, I would have happily helped you plan something great! You’re so CUTE, lemme fetch my camera…”  
  
Happily she clapped her hands together with a skip and a jump, then proceeded to dig through her bag, mumbling to herself.  
  
“Ecco,” Oswald started.  
  
“I’ve been waiting for this for years, I cannot believe I—”  
  
“ECCO!”  
  
She turned and cracked one of her slightly manic smiles, with a hint of genuinity behind it, a detail offered to her friends only.  
  
“Yes Oswald?”  
  
“Do you remember the talk we had about privacy? This is one of those moments, that it is regarded decent behavior to leave the happy couple alone.”  
  
Ecco grimaced, pouting like a child and then sighed as she turned to head for the door again.  
“Call me when you start planning the wedding, me and Ivy have a few ideas,” she called to them before the door closed and the manor grew quiet again. Only the sound of their heavy breaths and beating hearts remained.  
That moment of solitude, without fear of doubt, came to be one of those few good memories to look back on. Something to hold onto in hard times and remember why they decided to give this mad relationship a go.   


Both men faced one another with matching, foolish grins.  
  
“Do you want to share the cake?” Oswald asked with a tone a tad bit flirtier than the suggestion it told.  
  
“Happily.” Ed helped Oswald up and pulled him in for another kiss while balancing the plate of cake in his other hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I wrote this in the middle of the night in the spawn of 4h. And although Vero have been the sweetest and helped me edit it and made it readable, I still feel a little disheartened about it. I would be lying if I did not say I have worried that people will not read anything further of mine after this, seeing it feels as it lower the quality the rest of my work normally holds.  
> If you do like it, please kindly consider to comment? I do appreciate all of you that take your time to read. Thank you so much.


End file.
